To the Moon and Back
by DupesClause
Summary: Deidara learns the old lesson of curiosity the hard way when his questioning of Zetsu becomes a bit too personal, upsetting his new partner and he figures the best apology is by disproving Zetsu's answers. Dei/Fem!Zet
1. Part 1

**AN: **_Looks who's back, again. Yes, I'm back with Dei/Fem!Zet. My new OTP. Sorry about the absence, life took a delightful tumble down a cliff but I'm finally beginning to climb back up. Anyways, I have a story for you so I hope my fans, or what is left of you, enjoy._

**Warning(s): **Slight OoC

…

**To the Moon and Back**

**Part 1**

"Hey, are we approaching any outposts or inns, hmm? I'd rather not be caught in the rain. And I'm fucking starving and I'm pretty positive my feet are going to fall off."

It was yet another dreary day in the Land of Lightning as dark, foreboding clouds hovered overhead. The air was thick with the reek of rain and thunder rumbled ominously in the distance. After a simply search and destroy mission in a nameless village, a stone's throw from the border of Land of Fire, Zetsu and I were trekking back to headquarters. Due to the persistent weather however, flight was restricted because of the threat of rain and we had spent the last two days walking with hardly a pause on the dusty roads which seemed to stretch on forever without the slightest sight of civilization or rest stops. By the acute ache in my legs, I was positive my calves had melted and ankles were nothing but dust. Unlike me though, the long walk seemed to have hardly, if not at all, bothered Zetsu as her pace remained brisk as I lumbered behind her.

Zetsu tilted her head over her shoulder and glanced at me with her human eye before redirecting her focus on the endless road before us, audibly humming with consideration.

"Hmm…we should be approaching Yukagakure. A few miles ahead if I recall our location correctly. I'm sure we should be spotting buildings soon enough." Zetsu replied after a moment.

The statement, unsure as it was, brought an instant wave of relief and I sighed. My stomach groaned at the prospect of food ahead and I patted it gently, hoping Zetsu was indeed right.

Of course, Zetsu was always right and after an hour or more of tedious walking, a humble shop reared up along the side of the road. I had to resist the urge to gather up what little strength I possessed and sprint towards the haven of food and shelter. Approaching the café, we quickly removed our Akatsuki cloaks, tying them around our waists, and Zetsu pitched a simple genjutsu to transmute her skin into a more 'human-like' appearance.

"Welcome to Slice of Heaven, just take a seat where ever you want!" A cheery, brown-haired waitress called over as we entered the simply outlet. I surveyed the restaurant to the ideal seating only to find it mostly empty with only a single man sitting in the far back with a newspaper. I selected a booth in front of the bar and Zetsu voiced no objections as she silently followed, sitting opposite of me as we settled at the table. The sitting position offered instant relief to my exhausted legs and I practically melted in the seating, released a long-drawn sigh. A moment later the waitress came bouncing up, an unnerving smile plastered on her make-up caked face as she handed us both menus.

"Can I bring you beverages?"

"Tea, Oolong." Zetsu replied immediately, nudging away the menu like it was interfering with her personal bubble. "Nothing more."

"Uhh…I'll have a coffee, with water also, hmm." I muttered, examining the colourful food items listed on the menu over again. "And I already know what I want."

"Ok, sir." The waitress chirped, reaching into her stained apron, flipping out a small black notebook and pen. "What would that be?"

I handed her my menu along with Zetsu's. "One of everything, please."

The waitress looked up, that preppy smile of hers successfully purged from her face as she stared at me, mouth agape and eyes wide. I merely shrugged at her expression and after a minute of blank staring, the woman snapped out of her stupor and retrieved the menus, muttering she would put the orders in and return with our drinks before scurrying away. As she fled past, Zetsu snorted.

"What?" I asked curiously, leaning back in the bucket-like seat and crossed my mismatched arms, mimicking the pose my partner was currently reclined in.

She shook her head, her puffy lips curling into a smirk as she looked back at me. "Nothing, it's just only seven months of partnership **and your antics already fail to surprise me."**

I gave a genuine laugh and stretched. "Certainly shorter span than with Sasori, hmm. Six years together and everything I did either still shocked her or pissed her off." I chuckled again to distract myself from the slight ache forming in my chest associated with speaking my late partner's name.

"**Well Sasori had not much patience for anything." **She shrugged. I hummed in agreement. Thunder boomed outside and I gazed at the ceiling as the overhead lights wavered and flickered.

"Sounds like the storm has finally caught up with us, hmm." I mused, glancing around the shop though it lacked any windows to witness the extent of the storm which was now baring down on us. "Hopefully when we leave we'll have time to get to a hotel before we're soaked."

"Hopefully the hotels in Yukagakure have rooms remaining with it being a vacation spot and rest stop between the Land of Fire and the Land of Lightning." Zetsu added nonchalantly and I groaned at the realization. I did not want to walk for god-who-knows how much longer, in the pouring rain, until we found another place to rest! God, this is one of the worse after-missions in recent memory! And where were our drinks!?

Exasperated, I dropped my head and thumped my forehead against the table, sighing deeply. If it had been Sasori with me, she would have commented on my 'bratiness' but after a moment of silence, I lifted my head to find Zetsu filing her nails instead, scarping away the poorly cared for manacles and what little pink paint remained of them. I tilted my head backwards to look over at the bar on the opposite side of the restaurant to find the waitress mysteriously lacking before glancing back at Zetsu who was intently focused on her hands.

With the lack of conversation or refreshments, to avoid a brief bout of insanity from infecting my exhausted mind, I reached into my cloak pocket and withdrew the small book I had brought along on our mission, opening it to the bookmarked page and began reading.

"What are you reading?" Zetsu inquired after a few minutes.

I glanced over the rim of the book and cleared my throat nervously, shaking my head. "Nothing, nothing. Just a book is all, hmm."

"What kind of book?"

"A book…book, of the book kind."

A gnarl rumbled within the schizoid's throat though thankfully, she seemed not to persist with her curiosity. Giving it some time, I finally relaxed and resumed reading, only to be spooked again when a pair of pale fingers curled themselves over the top of the book.

"Hey!" I yanked away from the prying fingers and Zetsu just stared at me, her naturally pronounced lips making it incapable of telling if she was pouting or not.

"**Let me see."** She requested, blinking before quirking her head slightly. "What are you reading you are so intent on hiding?"

"Nothing. Can't a man read without having to share the material of what it is he is reading, hmm?" I purposely overdramatically proclaimed. "I never badger you about what you're reading every time you read, do I?"

Zetsu blinked again, her grassy eyebrows furrowing as she simply continued to stare but after a tense moment, she finally relented and slumped in her seat, now convincing me of her pouting. Cautiously, I focused back on my novel, occasionally glancing up to unsure Zetsu kept her grubby hands to herself. By the couple minute mark, I looked up just in time to notice her sitting up once again and groping at my book.

"Hey!" I barked and jerked away. It was a second too slow though, as she managed to snag the purple slipcover concealing the book's identity and with the wrenching, it easily slid free. I froze.

"Icha-Icha Paradise?" Zetsu read the cover slowly before narrowing her amber-hued eyes at me. **"Honestly?"** Despite myself, I could feel my cheeks flushing with blood.

"It has a good plot!" I blurted. Zetsu rolled her eyes into a 'seriously?' look. I blushed hotter.

"Don't judge me!" I buried my face in the smut riddled novel only to have it snagged directly from my hands. "Hey! Zetsu, come on."

I swiped at the book but Zetsu easily reclined in the bucket seating from my reach, eyes skimming the text as she thumbed through the pages.

"What tasteless dribble." She snorted after a minute.** "How can you read such filth?" **

I stood to steal the novel back when I noticed the waitress exiting the kitchen with a tray and sat back down as she approached the table. She placed two steaming cups in front of us but paused, obviously noticing the neon orange book Zetsu currently held in her hands. I cleared my throat to regain the waitress's attention and the woman snapped back, placing down my water and saying she would check on my food before fleeing again.

"**This is truly horrendous.** I could write much better material without the need of personal experience." Zetsu carelessly tossed the book back to me and sipped at her piping hot tea.

I smirked a little. "You would write smut, hmm?"

"I was making a point." She deadpanned.

I shrugged and flipped through the trashy novel to find the page I had originally been on. "I'd read it."

"I imagine a pervert such as you would."

"Who isn't a pervert, hmm?"

"I'm not."

"Ha!" I barked with laughter, the declaration having directly struck my funny bone and I placed down the book once again. "Didn't you just not a minute ago snatch my book to read knowing well that is had pornographic material, hmm?"

Zetsu's face was its traditional stoniness but I noticed a bit of a twitch of the nose. "I was curious."

I smiled faintly. "I'm sure you were, hmm."

Her eyebrows crinkled automatically. **"What are you implying?"**

"Nothing, nothing." I waved my hand dismissably in front of my face as I retrieved my book. "I'm just saying you said prior you were virgin so naturally you would be curious about sex, true yes?"

"No." She insisted though I could easily tell it was a lie.

"Nothing wrong with it, Zetsu. We've all been there." I reinsured her, turning the page and sniffing to prevent any stray dribbles of blood as the inside of my nostrils felt damp.

"Not all of us are as lucky as you, Deidara-san."

I frowned at the sarcastic remark and debated about commenting equally sarcastic about it but the resumed scarping of her nail file determined the conversation had been concluded. I returned to my own doings though her off-handed remark tweaked me slightly, how I was unsure. I wasn't given much of a chance to determine why either as the waitress strutted out of the kitchen, wheeling out a rickety cart packed to the rim with plates stacked with food. She gave me a clearly forced smile as she set the plates on the table. Zetsu heaved a sigh. However, I paid no mind to either of them as I began to shovel down the copious amount of food before the last plate had even been placed.

…

"Ghh…I'm so stuffed, hmm." I moaned as I collapsed upon the single bed of the decent hotel room we rented after an hour of scouring the village. Thankfully, we had managed to snag it before the storm showered onto our heads or the countless tourists roaming the streets occupied every hotel available.

Zetsu scoffed. "**Perhaps you shouldn't have eaten the entire restaurant.** I'm surprised you can even move nonetheless be able walk." She remarked, though her tone lacked any real 'surprise'.

I huffed at the woman and peered at her through my fringe as she flashed a tiger handsign and the pale shade of her skin bleached into its colourless complexion much to my unspoken relief. As oddly as it sounded, I disliked the genjutsu she used to disguise herself when in populations. I suppose I had just adjusted to her naturally, unnatural skin-colour that seeing her with the appearance of a normal human-being was uncomfortable. Unfortunately, people did not share my opinion which was why Zetsu was required to alter her appearance to avoid the stares and gasps. Life must have been horrendous before she learned that little trick.

"Why are you staring at me?" The question broke my chain of thought.

I blinked away the daze and saw Zetsu staring back at me, an eyebrow raised and head cocked like that of a confused puppy. Clearing my throat, I directed my attention to an invisible point on the unsightly, popcorn ceiling and threw my shoulders up in a shrug. "No reason, just zoned out, hmm."

A grumbled emitted from Zetsu's throat as though she was going to interrogate me further but after a moment, chose not to follow up. Once her back was turned, I resumed my peeking and watched as she picked up my discarded cloak, carefully folding it as she had done hers. As she did, the Icha Icha Paradise novel tucked in my pocket tumbled out and Zetsu paused. Slowly, she leant down to pick up it and I spared her a sheepish grin as she held up the smut book in her hand, giving me a rather flat look.

She rolled her human eye and chucked the novel onto the dining table of room, it bouncing on the surface and off the opposite side though Zetsu made no effort to pick it up as she went back to fussing over my cloak. I stared at the crumbled book and an odd question arouse in my mind as I recalled her general reaction to the novel and comment she muttered at the restaurant. Before I could register the consequences, my troublesome mouth was moving.

"Zetsu, do you hate sex?"

Predictably, the question took the woman by complete surprise as she fumbled with my cloak, accidently dropping it and uttered a swear at the trashing of her hard work. She picked it up and dusted if off before returning to her tending.

"I beg your pardon, Deidara-san?" She asked, a bit of an edge audible on her voice.

"Do you hate sex, hmm?" I repeated wearily. Whilst her reaction had not been what I expected, I was still braced for her to potentially bite my head off, probably literally. Experience from Sasori.

Zetsu was silent, seeming more concentrated on the wrinkles and random stains of my cloak rather than the question but after a minute, she finally answered. "No. I just find it…unnatural."

"Unnatural?" I spluttered. "What's so unnatural about it, hmm? Sex is most natural thing a human being can do."

"In the contraception yes, but not in the way it is portrayed today**. It's animalistic and taboo."**

I blinked slowly, trying to comprehend the answer but could not as it was obviously a counterfeit, a flimsy excuse disguised as an answer. Zetsu was a very cryptic person. A decayed book written in a dead language. It created a veil of mystery about her but today seemed different. Today, I could see the lies written on her pages.

"Zetsu, do you hate sex because you'll never experience it, hmm?" Once that idiotic question left my lips, time froze.

Zetsu went stiff and I discovered I could no longer breathe. My brain had seized up from the utter shock of my own stupidity. The question just seemed to the tumble out before I could stop it and I found myself wanting to laugh and exclaim it a joke but there was no breath to speak. Instead, I could only await Zetsu's indubitably answer in the form of spontaneous violence, similar Sasori's outbursts but a minute ticked by and there was nothing. She just stood there, silent and fingering the velvet inside of my cloak.

After an eternity, she released a hushed sigh and finished folding my cloak, gently placing atop her comically larger one sitting on the single nightstand of the room. Finally, she faced me and I recoiled at the golden orbs glowering at me, flickering with rage. Her nostrils flared as she heaved and her fists were clenched to the point her pale knuckles were bloodshot.

"Yes, Deidara, that is why I hate sex." The woman whispered darkly, I unconsciously cringing at the lack of the polite suffix when she addressed me. "I hate sex because I am **pathetic** and **hideous**! I hate it because of I am **constantly reminded** of something I cannot **control **because I was not **lucky enough** to be **born** as **attractive** a person as **you **or will be **lucky enough** to ever be **pled** for **sex**, **like you,** or experience **love**,** like you!** **Because I am nothing but a fucking, disgusting monster!"**

I was left stunned into silence after Zetsu's tirade concluded. The cannibal panted heavily and she gnashed her jowels together, lips curling back to bare the massive fangs. My brain was still so startled, the thought of fleeing the engaged woman briefly flashed in my mind before dissolving into nothing. Too mentally handicap to escape my partner's approaching wrath, I squeezed closed my eyes and braced myself; prepared to have my throat torn out or to be rip apart limb by limb. Nothing came, and suddenly, the uncomfortable quiet was shattered by a sob.

My eyes flew open and I stared at Zetsu. The woman's imposing stance had crumbled apart as she now stood there, shoulders slumped and head hung. Her teeth were still bared though her lips were quivering and nose repeatedly crinkled. The burning amber pits of her eyes were now flooded with unshed tears.

Realizing the abrupt swift of events, I opened my mouth to soothe her but my startled brain could not think of anything to comfort her and I sat there with my mouth agape like a fish out of water. I reached out my hand to touch her but she lashed out, slapping my hand away before turning on her heel and charging for the door without a word. She threw the door open and slammed it behind her, the brittle structure around the door cracking as the room quaked from the impact.

After several minutes, I was able to regain enough brain function to blink. Slowly, the realization of the true extent of what had just transpired dawned on me and a nauseating heaviness settled at the bottom of my stomach. Zetsu cried. I had made her cry. My dumbass had managed to pick open an old wound she had been struggling to heal, picked it open for her bleed out. And I didn't even apologize. I just watched her run away in tears. I groaned and buried my face in my palm, shaking my head.

What the fuck was I going to do about this?

…

**AN:** _Bam, there's the first part. If you enjoyed it, please leave an R&R. Makes my day and encourages faster updating. _

_Stay tuned. _


	2. Part 2

**AN:**_ Here's the second chapter, sorry for the wait. _

**Warning(s):** Language, Slight OoC

…

**To the Moon and Back **

**Part 2**

I decided to give Zetsu a few hours to cool down, spending the time debating about how I could possibly apologize to her. So far, groveling to her seemed to the most appropriate and hopefully guaranteed the resumed possession of my limbs and head. It clocked near the evening when the thunder from before returned with vengeance. Wind howled against the windows and lightning flashed into the distance, illuminating the villages in an eerie glow.

With the storm approaching, I feared for Zetsu. While I knew she wasn't dumb enough to go prancing around in the rain, I certainly didn't want her walking in it to return to the hotel, if she ever did, especially since she had left behind her cloak. The windows rattled violently in their frames and I could hear the silent pitter-patter of rain beginning against them, making my decision for me. I got up and retrieved my cloak along with Zetsu's, tying mine around my waist whilst throwing hers over my shoulder. The hotel was abuzz with chatter of new guests as I left my room and headed to the lobby, dodging past the obnoxious tourists.

Once outside, I paused when realizing I had no clue where Zetsu could have fled off to. Usually when we were together, she rarely wondered off. The most she would do is go out to get meals and bring them back to the room we were currently holed up during missions. She could literally be anywhere.

"Shit…" I muttered, thumping a fast into my forehead. Think, think, think. Seven months together and I literally knew nothing more about her, her hobbies, her likes or dislikes. Wasn't entirely my fault though, Zetsu wasn't practically the most interesting person in the world. She did not drift about often and spent most of her free time either doing paperwork or readi- That's it!

I glanced about, spying a man walking by and grabbed his arm, effectively startling him as he yelped and shielded his head with his free arm.

"Excuse me but do you happen to know of the nearest bookshop or library in the village, hmm?"

…

"Welcome to Hidden Steam Books." A woman's voice called from the back as I entered the crowed store, a bell hooked to the door giving an obnoxious chime in my ear.

The shop was suffocating with overflowing bookshelves and reading tables, making navigation a chore as I scooted through the aisles, searching for any sign of Zetsu. As I nudged my way through the 'adventure' section, there was another table located at the back of the store where the counter was located, for some absurd reason, I could view a pale elbow of someone seated there. I peeked around the bookshelf and in my relief, saw Zetsu sitting there with her back towards me, her head bowed in an obvious reading position.

Seizing her distraction, I slowly crept up from behind her, reaching out a hand to the chair besides her without her noticing. It was in vain though, as my breathing was enough to announce my presence and her head suddenly snapped up. She looked over her shoulder towards me, honey-hue eyes narrowing into a foul glare and I gave her a nervous smile. The gesture was returned as her lips curled back into snarl, though due to the genjutsu, she lacked her trademark fangs, reducing her level of intimidation but still, I wisely kept my distance.

"Come to mock me further?" She hissed.

"What? No!" I sighed, handing over her cloak. "I came to apologize, hmm."

She jerked it from my hand. "I'd rather not hear anything you have to say. You made yourself perfectly clear today."

She stood from her seat, her book clenched in one fist and her cloak into another, and she turned to stomp off but I caught her wrist, stopping her. She snarled again, causing me to wince but I kept my grip firm upon her wrist despite my better judgment. At least with the genjutsu, it would take longer for her to gnaw my hand free of my wrist.

"Zetsu, wait, please listen, will you?" She huffed and attempted to wrench herself free but I kept my hand solid on her. "Zetsu, I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry I said that to you. I didn't realize how offensive it was until I just blurted it out. I never meant to upset you in such a way."

"Apology not accepted, Deidara."

She managed to free herself with a harsh tug, instantly spinning around to flee and I grasped at her again, failing to recapture her as instead I knocked the novel she had been holding from her hand. The soft-covered novel fluttered to the ground and Zetsu growled, hunching over to retrieve it but I was faster, stealing it from the floor.

"Hey!" The woman barked, lunging for it but I used my superior height against her as I held the book at arm's length above my head. I looked up and observed it, discovering it to be an obvious romance novel as two ridiculously beautiful people were depicted on the soft-cover, practically nude with only a bed sheet to conceal their intimate parts and making kissy-face at each other.

"Well go ahead. **Tell me how pathetic I am." **I frowned and gazed back to Zetsu to find her glowering a hole through my head, teeth and fists clenched.

I sighed, shaking my head. "Zetsu, you're not pathetic. Everyone is entitled to their desires, hmm." I handed the book back and she snatched it, nearly along with my hand, growling from within her throat without lessening her glare.

"Tch, desires," She muttered, thumbing through the pages to her original place. "**Desires are pitiful things**. Just irksome cravings of the body."

I rubbed the back my head. "Tell me about, hmm."

Her eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?"

"Eh…I'm just saying they are, hmm." I said, adding a shrug. "I know what it is like, Zetsu. I was in your position once. Being a virgin is a bitch."

Zetsu immediately hissed like a provoked cat at the comment. "I'm not referring to my virginity!"

I scoffed, waving her off. "Zetsu, you obviously are. This whole argument has been about it, hmm!"

"**No it hasn't!" **

"Yes it has! You had an entire breakdown because of it, hmm!"

The statement obviously perturbed Zetsu as she paused, eyes widen and mouth agape for an entire moment before she ground her teeth together, baring the human canines. "**I did not breakdown!**"

Sensing the hot waves of building rage beginning to emit from her, I held my hands in defense. "Ok, ok, I'm sorry, hmm." I sheepishly scratched at my cheek. "I came here to apologize and I'm only making things worse."

The schizoid snorted. "**Yes you are.** Now would you kindly leave me be?"

She stomped past back to the table, purposely clashing her shoulder against my elbow and I cringed as the sensitive area throbbed from the impact. I glared at her retreating back but found I could not muster any anger towards her, honestly I felt even worse about her, especially with the realization I knew exactly what she was struggling with. Must have been worse with all those negative feelings festering in her mind also. I sympathized with her.

I sighed and stroked my fingers through my fringe. A flood of unwanted memories of Sasori and our 'relationship' came back to me. The only reason I had ever lost my virginity was due to the simple fact Sasori had taken pity on me and it had been the worse experience of my life, regrettably. I didn't wish the same on Zetsu if she eventually broke and decided to sleep with some random bastard. Sex was supposed to be this special moment in your life, and fucking it up would be a pity, such as what happened to me. With all the hell she no doubt has gone thorough in life, she at least deserved that. Fuck me, I was pitying her like Sasori has done with me.

I looked at her to where she was repositioned at the table, having resumed her reading and I sighed again. It wasn't pitying if you wanted to help the person, was it? God, was I actually considering sleeping with Zetsu? Not that was a bad thing. Well, not as bad had it been before I became her partner and discovered she's was nothing as everyone depicted her to be, nowhere close. Damn it, I was considering it! I unconsciously yanked at my hair and winced when strands came loose.

Brushing the blonde tresses from my hand, I spared Zetsu's another thoughtful look before sighing once again. It wasn't pitying, I was her partner, she deserved better. Fuck it!

Inhaling deeply, I strolled up to my pouting partner and cleared my throat behind her, causing her head to turn slowly as she glared at me from over her shoulder.

"Zetsu." I began but predictable, she snorted and redirected her attention back to her novel. I sighed but did not bother to argue with her this time. "I just wanted to say, if you ever want to know what it's like, ask me, hmm. I'll help you."

I had expected her to blow me off again and was pleasantly surprised when the woman slowly set down the mushy novel and shifted in her seat, staring at me with crinkled eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

I heaved my shoulders into a shrug and awkwardly scratched at my head, averting my gaze. "You heard me. If you want help, just ask, hmm."

She merely blinked, appearing to be baffled by my offer and without farther explanation and with another shrug, I turned and left the confused cannibal, the shop owner yelling a farewell after me as I left the bookshop. Outside, the rain was pouring heavily and the streets had been vacated by now so I untied my cloak and shrugged it on without fear of being recognized.

"Deidara-san!"

I paused in my step and saw Zetsu jogging from the shop while hastily tugging on her oversized cloak. She stopped behind me, clenching the cloak against her chest as she shielded her eyes from the rain with her hand.

"Deidara-san." She repeated, bring some comfort at the welcomed return of the affectionate suffix. "**What the hell was that about?** What did you mean about asking you?"

"You know what I mean, Zetsu." I answered, before adding. "And no, I'm not just saying this or pitying you, hmm. I'd rather be the one to be your first since I'm your partner, so you can at least trust me somewhat."

She opened her mouth to speak, but as a first, nothing escaped after several seconds and she closed it again, appearing to be at a complete loss of words. Thunder roared in the background and I shivered as a particularly cold gust of wind moaned past. I looked at Zetsu, who was still a bit zoned out.

"Do you mind if we continue this conversation at the hotel, hmm?" I questioned, huddling deeper within my cloak. Finally, she blinked and stared at me for a moment before curtly nodding.

I released a relieved sigh and began walking down the road, ensuring Zetsu was following as the woman trudged behind though as lagging slightly so I had to keep my pace restively slow so we did not become separated. By the time we reached the hotel, we were both soaked to the bone and I thanked God, or whatever Gods existed, as we entered our warm hotel room.

Immediately, I abandoned my cloak on the floor along with my shirt. I rang my hair out onto the carpet and noticed from the corner of my eye Zetsu picking up my tossed clothing before vanishing into the bathroom. I sat down on our bed and she reemerged a minute later, having shed her own cloak along with the jutsu and presumably hung up the wet clothing on the shower rod to dry.

Quietly, I watched as she walked over to the bed and sat herself beside me. I waited for her to say something, but I took her silence as a sign she either had nothing to say or did not know what to say. I didn't either. I had never offered such a thing and she had obviously never been offered such a thing. She had been so convinced no one wanted her so to suddenly have someone want her probably what had caused her current stupor.

After a few minutes of the uncomfortable quiet passed, I decided to break it as I sighed and scratched at my head. "Zetsu, sorry if that was a bit sudden, hmm. Just thought…you know, I'm your partner now and while we haven't been partners for long, I still would like to help you out even though this is a very…personal issue."

"It's fine." Zetsu murmured, mimicking my display as she itched at her arm. "Just was surprised. **Obviously."**

"Yeah, sorry."

"It's fine."

The silence returned and after a minute, I cleared my throat. "Yeah, so I just wanted you to know that, hmm. I don't want you to feel pressured though. Whenever you're ready, just ask me and I'll help like I said." Zetsu did not reply and I stood, intent on taking a nice hot shower to soothe my frozen bones but as I stepped past, something suddenly latched onto my arm and I looked down to find Zetsu hand clenching my wrist.

"Wait…I…" Her voice drifted and she glanced away, nibbling at her bottom lip with her fangs and I rose an eyebrow when not so much as a dribble of blood emerged from the prodded flesh. "I want…I…" She paused again, before sighing. **"Never mind, I don't know what I want right now." **

I offered her a small smile. "It's okay, Zetsu. Like I said, when you're ready. For now, let's just take it slow, hmm."

"Slow?" The emerald-haired woman asked, instantly picking up on the nonchalant word.

"Yeah, like," I thought it over for a moment. "Like…I'm guessing you also have never been kissed, have you?"

She hesitated, before quietly muttering, "No."

"So there, we'll start there and then you can decide when you're ready to go farther, hmm."

"Right now?"

I blinked and Zetsu dropped her sight again, clearly embarrassed from the outburst. I shrugged. "If you want."

She looked back up, human-like eye having widened slightly. She glanced between me and the floor for several seconds before sighing, shoulders notably slumping and face gaining a pink tint. "Yes…"

I could not help but laugh, finding the whole inner conflict she was waging with herself honestly adorable. The right-hand of the Akatsuki and probably more immortal than Hidan and Kakuzu combined, blushing and stuttering. I ruffled my fingers through her short locks and she glared at me though I could see her face darkening.

"It's fine, Zetsu. Come on," I sat back down beside her and pulled the arm she still had her hand upon towards myself. She rose an eyebrow, not understanding the gesture so I yanked my arm harder, taking the woman by surprise as she tumbled forward into my lap. She quickly regained herself and glared at me shortly after, realized what my intentions had been and the blush returned. I chuckled and her eyes narrowed again, warning me to watch my tongue as she awkwardly crawled into my lap. Once she had settled against me, her eyes averted their sight again to a point elsewhere.

"Hmm…alright now. I admit, I haven't had much practice with this but it isn't too hard to get the hold of, hmm." I told her, which she nodded to, keeping her gaze well away from my face as she did. I gently gripped her chin, nudging her face closer and as predicted, her eyes refocused on me as she recoiled slightly.

I hummed softly at the evasive action. "Zetsu, you're obviously uncomfortable about this so let's just…"

"**No."** She interrupted, inhaling. "I'm fine, just…just tell me what to do."

I smirked. "Just kiss me."

The pale side of her face deepened to the point it nearly matched the opposite side and she swallowed, her throat audibly clicking. A minute passed until slowly, she leant forward. Our lips brushed and she shrank away, swallowing again before she tilted her face back forward so our lips met again and pressed them together shyly.

I waited a moment before returning the kiss and I could feel the woman's stout frame stiffen again me. I placed my hands on her hips and ran them up her sides, trying to soothe her as I kissed her harder, realigning our lips into a more comfortable contact. Gradually, her body untensed and she timidly positioned her mismatched hands upon my shoulders, kneading the skin with her fingers. I draped my arms around her waist and brought her closer, deepening the kiss and a withheld moan emitted from Zetsu's throat. Almost immediately, I broke the kiss and Zetsu blinked before murmuring a growl at the canceled exchange.

"Would you like to go farther, hmm?"

"Farther?" She asked, lips sagging in a frown.

"Yeah, farther as in…tongue?" Her crimson face bleached back to white.

"I…I don't think that is…I want though…"

I frowned as fidgeted against me and glanced about the room, attempting several times to resume her answer but each time would drift away into a mindless jumble of words to argue she didn't want to, but she also wanted to. After a minute of this, she sighed deeply, shaking her head and I presumed that was her final answer.

"It's fine, Zetsu." I explained. "We're taking it slow as I said, so we'll jus-"

"No." She squeaked, clenching and unclenching my shoulders. "No, I want to continue I just…" Her throat bobbed as she swallowed and she kept her eyes diverted towards my chest. "I don't want to hurt you with my teeth…" She muttered sheepishly.

Upon the explanation, I was unable to help but smile, succeeding in regaining her attention as she lifted her head up and stared into her golden-sheen orbs.

"Zetsu, I'm not scared of your teeth, hmm. And I promise, you won't hurt me either. Hmm?" She blinked, glancing to the side for a moment before returning to my own eyes and she nodded, whispering a barely detectable 'Alright'.

With the confirmation, I replaced my lips upon hers and she wasted no time to kiss back. Not wanting to settle her with just engaging the more intimidation exchange off the bat, I kept the kiss simple as I kept our lips together for several minutes, allowing Zetsu to fully melt into the kiss as she hugged herself against me and nudged our lips harder. Once she was complete immersed in the kiss, I warily probed her soft lips with the tip of my tongue.

I withdraw when the cannibal whimpered and returned to kissing her, allowing her some time to relax before attempting to enter again. This time, she remained silent, hesitating before parting her lips and I slid my tongue between them, stroking it against the smooth surface of her teeth. She whined again and I began to recline when she apprehensively opened her mouth, permitting access. Accepting the invite, I carefully maneuvered my tongue past the jagged tips of her fangs into her moist cavern.

Scouring the cavity, I discovered her own tongue huddled at the back of her throat. I stroked my tongue again it, attempting to coax the nervous muscle out to play and after some convincing, she crawled out from the depths and returned my petting. I entangled our tongues together and Zetsu uttered a moan into my mouth, pressing closer against my chest and I groaned when she inadvertently rubbed herself on my lap.

Her hands entangled themselves in my hair and she hauled my head down to deepen the kiss as all prior shyness from her seemed to vanish as she restrained my tongue with her own, massaging them together then retreating when I attempted to return the gesture, creating a game of cat and mouse as I chased her about, smirking at the woman's friskiness.

As the heavy kiss carried on, I noticed the abrupt arousal in Zetsu as she ground herself against me and tugged at my hair, moaning as our tongues danced between the pathway of our mouths in a reckless tango. The unimagined years of sexual tension were beginning to shine through her polished armour. I had the creeping suspicion there would be no waiting on this issue.

After another minute, I separate our mouths and Zetsu whined, immediately diving for lips to resume the passionate exchange but I skillfully avoiding her mouth and she whined louder, yanking on my hair to make me yield.

"Zetsu." The schizoid ceased in her pursuit after my mouth and gazed upwards at me. I could plainly see the fog of lust clouding her amber hues and it only further validated my previous theory. "Do you want to go farther?"

She inhaled sharply, diverting her eyes to the side before refocusing on me and slowly releasing the breath. "Yes."

Before I could reply, our mouths clashed again into a very sloppy but hot kiss.

…

**AN:**_ Dear Lord, this chapter took forever. Not only is it finals, delightful college finals, but I also totally derped out on this damned chapter which only made it harder to write since I had no clue what I was writing. Despite that, it came out well I personally think. _

_Next chapter is the lemon goodness. R&R, it encourages faster updating. _


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